Can I Stay In Your Arms?
by hmrpotter
Summary: Harry begins to realize that as much as he would like to push a certain redhead away, sometimes things are easier said than done. Song-fic to "If You're Not the One" by Daniel Bedingfield. I heard this song and immediately thought "Perfect for H/G"


Harry was losing an internal battle within himself.

His decision to break up with Ginny after only a few weeks of dating seemed like a good idea - at the time. Didn't he need to keep her safe? Didn't she deserve a chance to find happiness with someone whose future wasn't so uncertain? Harry knew that he had been happy – probably the happiest he had ever felt – during those weeks that they were together. But now, his focus needed to be on his mission to find and destroy the remaining Horcruxes and the man-turned-monster who created them. He didn't need the distraction of a girlfriend, right? Or at least that's what he kept trying to tell himself.

He looked at her across the room, where she sat and happily talked to Ron and Hermione about the wedding that just took place. Bill and Fleur had begun their first dance as husband and wife, and Harry honestly thought that he could see the glow of happiness that surrounded them. _Why can't I have that for just a moment?_ He wondered. He again stole a glance at Ginny, both pleased and shocked to see her staring directly at him. A small flicker of hope flashed in her eyes, and Harry thought to himself, _Maybe I can, just for a bit._

Having made his mind up, Harry slowly walked across the room and approached the table where his two best friends were quietly talking with each other. They looked up at Harry, beginning to feel a bit awkward with the situation but Harry barely gave them a glance. His eyes were focused solely on Ginny. Without a word, Harry held out his hand to her, and she took it without hesitation and allowed him to lead her to the dance floor. With a look that stirred the slumbering monster within, she laid her head on his chest and they began to dance, and Harry couldn't remember a time when he felt more at peace.

_If you're not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?  
If you're not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way? _

_If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call?  
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all?_

It wasn't until he was standing here in this moment, so calm and so at peace, that he fully realized just how much she meant to him; that he knew how much he loved her. At this moment he knew that as much as he hated to do so, he really would have to leave her, even if only to have a reason to come back – a reason to defeat Voldemort once and for all.

_I never know what the future brings  
But I know you are here with me now  
We'll make it through  
And I hope you are the one I share my life with_

I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand  
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?  
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms? 

Harry woke up from his dream, his shirt and blanket drenched in sweat. It had been this way ever since he, Ron and Hermione had had to flee as the Death Eaters broke through the wards and began attacking the Burrow. Those last few moments before 

the Death Eaters stormed Bill and Fleur's reception, the moments when he realized he loved Ginny and didn't want to be without her were pure torture for him. He'd had to leave so suddenly and never got a chance to tell her how he really felt. Sometimes he felt that it was better that way, that if he had given in and confessed his true feelings to her that it would have weakened his resolve. If he had told her everything, he knew he would never have had the strength to leave her. So he had left, fleeing with Ron and Hermione to Grimmauld Place and not knowing for days whether Ginny (or anyone else at the Burrow) were even okay. Mr. Weasley eventually sent his Patronus to let them know that everyone was fine, but that they were now being watched. Ron sank into the couch and breathed a sigh of relief at the news that his family was okay. Hermione, seeing him in distress, rushed over to comfort him and Harry used the distraction to sneak out of the room, towards his bedroom where he could be to himself.

As he lay on the bed, emotions that he had been holding back let loose with such fury that he didn't know how he'd been able to contain them for so long. Knowing that they were all okay, but not being able to be with them was killing him in ways he had never dreamed of. Being away from _her_ hurt so much more than he had expected. Harry had kind of felt that when he had made his decision, he was in control. If he changed his mind, he could always go back to her, right. But now he realized that he was no longer in control. The Death Eaters had seen to that. He could not back to her now, could not let her know how he felt, could not give her hope for their relationship or their future, and it was this thought that unleashed the tears he had been struggling to hold back.__

If I don't need you then why am I crying on my bed?  
If I don't need you then why does your name resound in my head?  
If you're not for me then why does this distance maim my life?  
If you're not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?

I don't know why you're so far away  
But I know that this much is true  
We'll make it through  
And I hope you are the one I share my life with  
And I wish that you could be the one I die with  
And I'm praying you're the one I build my home with  
I hope I love you all my life

It's not fair, thought Harry. _Why can't I just be a normal teenager? Why can't I just be in love without worrying about putting her in danger? Why do I always have to be the one to lose the ones I love?_ Along with the despair, Harry felt anger, but he also felt desperation. He needed to find a way to let her know the truth, to give her a reason to wait for him. To give him a reason to come back.

_I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand  
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am  
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms? _

Ginny Weasley was miserable. Her brother, best friend, and ex-boyfriend had been gone for weeks now, and no one knew whether or not they were okay. Sure, her dad had been able to communicate with them and it was known that Grimmauld 

Place was being watched, but no one actually _knew_ how they were doing. Or _what_ they were doing. All she knew was that she was still leaving for Hogwarts in a couple of days, and that she missed the trio terribly. Hogwarts would not be the same without them.

Ginny thought back to that last dance with Harry at the reception, before things went so wrong. For a moment, just a tiny moment, she had felt that he might change his mind about them not being together. She had hoped to have a chance to talk to him and let him know what she felt for him before he went on his mission. _And I never got a chance to ask him how he _really_ feels (felt?) about me_, she thought sadly. Tears in her eyes, she walked into her bedroom and almost screamed when she saw Kreacher standing in her room, placing a small piece of parchment onto her bedroom before disappearing with a small _pop_. She looked at the piece of parchment with confusion and a small bit of fear, not knowing if what she would find would be something she wanted to hear. Slowly, she walked to the bed and sat down. Taking a few deeps breaths to steady herself, she reached for the parchment and blinking away the tears that had once again appeared, she felt a tiny smile appear on her face as she spotted the handwriting that could only belong to the one person she was thinking of, the person she missed the most.

Gin,

I know that I'm taking a chance by sending this, but I knew that Kreacher would be able to accomplish this one small task without being caught and I had to find a way to get this to you.

The truth is I don't know if I'm going to make it; we both know that my future – my survival, even – is not guaranteed. There were so many things that I wanted to say to you that last night and I don't feel that I can carry out my mission if I don't get all of this off of my chest. I want to be able to fight, knowing that my feelings for you have been made clear so that, if I don't survive, you will at least know the truth.

I realized something that night we danced; when I held you in my arms I felt more at peace than I've ever been. And I realized that what I have to fight for was right there with me. All of the love I've ever known was in that one place, at the Burrow. Your family, my friends, the Order members, and most importantly, you. Ginny, I love you, and I couldn't go off to fight what could possibly be my last fight without letting you know that. I'm sorry that I can't be there to tell you in person, but for now, this will have to do. You are the first thing I think of in the morning, my last thought before falling asleep at night, and my dreams are always about you. __

'cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away_**  
**__And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today__**  
**__'cause I love you, whether it's wrong or right__**  
**__And though I can't be with you tonight__**  
**__You know my heart is by your side__****_

_I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand__**  
**__If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am__**  
**__Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?_

Because of you, I have hope that I can stand tall and win the battle with Voldemort, whenever it should come. The thought of being with you again gives me hope, and I will do whatever it takes to make that happen.

I love you.

Whatever she was expecting, it certainly wasn't this. This open door into Harry's thoughts and feelings was so unexpected, yet so welcome. Now she could leave for school, knowing that he was okay and that he would fight hard to come back to her, to everyone who loved him. She also knew, regardless of his words on the day of Dumbledore's funeral, that they were meant for each other, and that she would wait for him to come back to her. To come home. And she would be waiting with open arms.


End file.
